Why I Don't Like Some Acts

I do not like people going down on me. When I first became sexually active receiving oral was just a slightly awkward act that my boyfriend wanted to do on occasion, and I let him because I kept being told that both partners should be willing to give and receive oral, and I loved giving blow jobs, so I thought it would only be fair to let him do things too. I knew it felt kind of uncomfortable for me, but I always brushed it off to a mixture of his inexperience and my last shreds of puritanical modesty. I always thought myself lucky that he didn't offer to go down very often, and when my female friends would talk about how much they loved it I would secretly wonder if there was something wrong with me.

But in the past year or so I have ended up at the point where I cannot let a man go down on me at all. The last few times a partner has tried to perform orally I have either cried or ending up kicking him so he'd stop, most of the time doing both. I can't really determine why I react this way, as I don't really know of anything that has happened which would make me now feel this way about this particular act. Maybe it has something to do with being in a very negative relationship awhile back? Who knows. All I know is that as far as I'm concerned, not all types of receiving are as good as giving.